6am
I'm getting ready to go. Had an ugly exchange of last words with my ma last night, we were both stressed upset and super tired. She didn't sleep, I couldn't rest, I woke up still thinking I was dreaming, I lie, I still wish I was dreaming, I'm trying to sleep on the way to the airport and feel like shit, my family is all nervous and tired, dad had on his game face, he is proud and happy for me but I think he and my ma feel it the most. I never seen so much pain in my life that was caused directly because of me, and I never felt so much pain because of pain that I caused someone else.
No heart that I have ever broken, could ever amount to this, sorry ladies and no time my heart has been broken could never prepare.
Broken hearts; where I am going, I may not know how or what about them for quite sometime.
What am I doing.....6am at the Hamilton airport?
Going to Calgary.
-carm
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